WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
