It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
