I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
