doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
