She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
