I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
smell my finger.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
