but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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