it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
