There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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