Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
