I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
