so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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