i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
