well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
