jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
