I need help removing her.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
