He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
