She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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