Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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