You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I want to be your penis for a week.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize