When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
