if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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