Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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