her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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