her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can't put those talents on a resume
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
