she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
