I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
