I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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