I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize