So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
