what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
