i just had sex bonerless
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
