I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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