Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Non-Jews are for practice
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We were destined to go to rehab together
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize