Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
