so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
