he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
