I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
