i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Life is so much better after having sex.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
