I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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