i jhust puked up my retainher.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
