Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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