I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
