i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
