everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
