sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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