Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
