its not stalking. its research.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
