I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
