I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
