I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
