so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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