I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize