Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
