No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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