I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
