she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
