I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This is my gift to your gina
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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