This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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