he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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