Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
