Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
