I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
