Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize