nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
