I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize