I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
