Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
