Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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