you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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